blogs about self-worth

Kid Reactions

There’s no fooling kids about some things. Especially when it comes to their reactions toward adults … and adult efforts to instruct them. Most youngsters tend to be brutally honest in their assessments of us grownups and our interactions with them.

So we are very pleased with the end-of-year feedback we just received from our Humanity Project kids. This comes at the conclusion of our “Humanity Club” program following a full year of work with 5th grade students and their peers. You see one of the surveys shown here, which includes the comment: “Humanity Club has helped me in the biggest way because this club has shown me that I matter even if I don’t think so.” These surveys did not come with any prompting by the Humanity Project: Our kids were free to say anything they wanted, anonymously if they preferred… or to say nothing at all. Or even to make negative remarks. Every survey this year was very positive. This same student went on to say: “Humanity Club has helped the school because this club shows us that we are equal, and we are all somebody.”

We think that’s high praise from a 10-year-old. Here’s another example:

As you see, the student noted that our Humanity Project program helped with her anger problem… and that people liked her better because she was not as angry after working with us. Again, we consider this a meaningful accomplishment in the growth of a child, all thanks to the “Humanity Club” program.

The Humanity Project is 20-years-old now — and experience with our programs has consistently proven them highly effective. The “Humanity Club” is no exception. We know our work can significantly improve young lives.

We are all about strengthening feelings of self-worth in as many human beings as we can reach, both child and adult alike. “Equality for each, respect for all” allows us to focus our efforts on areas of society where we can do the greatest good to encourage self-worth in individuals by preventing bullying, advising parents, inspiring our website visitors and more. We hope you’ll join our campaign, at no cost, to carry this important work to even more folks who need it.

Why You Matter

Oh yes, we know… If you’re like most people, you don’t really enjoy thinking about abstract concepts. In other words, you probably don’t often tackle broad ideas such as equality and respect and self-worth. Very likely you hear or read those words, you form some vague notion of their meaning and importance… and that’s it. Few of us take the time to truly understand why those ideas are so significant for each human being. Or in the case of the Humanity Project, why our organization focuses on those ideas in creating our free programs and materials.

Those words, those ideas, truly are at the heart of everything we have done for the past 20 years.

So let us take a moment to put the Humanity Project’s work into words that may be more comfortable for lots of folks. At the center of it all is our very human need to feel good about ourselves as individuals. That’s what we mean by “self-worth,” of course. The sense inside one human being that they matter, they are important, they are worthy. The feeling they are somebody, to borrow the phrase we teach our Humanity Project kids: “I am somebody!”

“Equality for each, respect for all” are words we use to briefly explain that the Humanity Project wants every person to feel as valuable as everyone else, if in their own unique way. Equality in our society and respect among individuals help people feel good about who they are.

And in the end, that’s the true goal of the Humanity Project. As our vision statement says, “to help create a world where every human being feels unshakable self-worth and profound respect for all humanity.” That is, a world where everybody feels good about themself …and recognizes that every other person needs to feel good about themself too.

There are deeply human psychological reasons why self-worth is so vital to each of us as individuals. Our founder wrote an entire 600-page book about this: “Beyond Me - Dissecting ego to find the innate love at humanity’s core.” It offers a highly detailed but understandable examination of individual identity. But for this short blog, we can say this much about the book’s ideas: Every human being learns to think of themself in terms of specific identities: Susan-the-nice-person, as an example. Or Joe-the-great-athlete. Or whatever they may be. Each of us treasures many of these identities that feel very important to our sense of self-worth, allowing us to feel good about who we are.

The problem is that we also need other people to tell us we are right — that we really are Susan-the-nice-person or Joe-the-great-athlete. We look for outside validation of our identities. But very often, the world doesn’t agree with our views of who we are. Others don’t see us the way we see ourselves. This causes deep self-doubt, self-criticism and self-sabotage. We become our own worst enemy because we’re not sure we are the person we think we should be. And this dilemma is at the root of many problems we see around us every day, both individually and as a society.

But don’t just take our word for it. You can find endless observations by great minds that point out the absolute need for self-worth. Here are just a few of these:

  • “What a man thinks of himself, that is what determines his fate.” Henry David Thoreau

  • “Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm; but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.” T.S. Eliot

  • “All of a man's happiness is in his being the master of his ego, while all his suffering is in his ego being his master.” Al-Ghazali (Persian philosopher, 12th Century)

As you see, the importance of self-worth is not a new concept. People who feel less than worthy constantly struggle with their egos. They do things, often destructive things, trying to prove their value. Inevitably they cause themselves and others harm in varying degrees as a result. And yet, far too few people today have begun to understand the central role of identity and self-worth.

All this to say that the Humanity Project is energetically engaged on this key battlefront of humanity. We want to teach both kids and adults to recognize their own worth much more fully. In so doing, we believe, the individuals who make up our society become more healthy and whole. And so does our world.

Bullyproof Your Child

The Humanity Project offers many many free resources on a variety of topics related to our mission. These include our programs and speakers bureau, of course, but also lots of online features: blogs and podcasts, fables and videos, music and our store. And more. Through our great sponsor, Google, the internet materials are promoted worldwide… and they attract visitors every day from six continents. (Nothing from Antarctica, yet.)

We’ve just added a valuable new post to our gallery of information. It’s called Bullyproof your child. We think parents will find this a useful guide to help them raise self-confident, healthy children. Based on decades of our experience, the Humanity Project believes that parents can train their children to build deep feelings of self-worth. And in doing so, help their kids become “bullyproof.” The article explains why that happens and offers very practical tips about how to accomplish this.

The post is adapted from a forum for parents on bullying. It was presented at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Broward County, Florida on January 11 2025 by Humanity Project Founder & President, Bob Knotts. Here is part of the message:

“Bullying only hurts if it strengthens doubts the child already has about themself. In other words, the self-doubts we all have, including children, are openings for bullies to do their damage. Your child’s insecurities are the only weaknesses a bully can exploit to cause pain. The child who feels they are… whatever their insecurity might be. Stupid, fat, ugly, unpopular, awkward, klutzy or anything else. Bullies will discover those insecurities and hammer at them mercilessly. But those taunts only do real harm if the child already believes them to be true in some way. The bully just confirms those self-doubts. And makes them worse. Nasty comments never really reach a kid who is truly self-confident.”

We hope you’ll check out our new post. And please, pass it along to any parents who may benefit from reading this piece. The Humanity Project’s most fundamental mission is to promote and inspire greater feelings of self-worth among as many human beings as possible. That’s why we work toward “equality for each, respect for all” — because equality and respect help individuals to recognize more of their own value, their humanity. And therefore to recognize the value of others too. For centuries, great thinkers have understood the core importance of self-worth in the lives of their people and their societies. The Humanity Project believes better, wiser parenting is the key to building self-worth.

Self-worth Is The Goal

January 28 2024: Talking about the Humanity Project’s emphasis on self-worth

The Humanity Project was founded in 2005 with one central focus: to promote individual self-worth. Despite our many changes in all those years, that goal remains our focus. Briefly, we’d like to explain why this is true.

Our stated mission is “instilling greater respect for the goodness and inherent value of humanity.” And our trademarked motto is “Equality for Each, Respect for All!” How, then, is self-worth the focus of the Humanity Project’s work? Those statements sound as if our efforts involve social change more than individual change.

But here’s the connection, which some folks may not realize when looking over our programs: We promote social changes that result in the individual improvements we seek — that is, greater self-worth. For example, research has shown for decades that school bullying damages student psyches, lowering a child’s sense of value as a human being. Other kids are making fun of them, afterall, or even harming them physically. Obviously, this often makes bullying victims feel bad about themselves. So our acclaimed, nationally known antibullying programs help to stop the bullying, which is the immediate goal. But the true underlying intent of our programs is to prevent individual students from suffering psychological scars that may diminish their self-worth for a lifetime.

This underlying goal is also the reason the Humanity Project works as close allies of organizations in the LGBTQ community, whose individuals are disproportionately bullied and attacked, verbally and physically. And for the same reason the Humanity Project does whatever we can to promote the value of religious and racial minorities as well as all genders. By laboring for equality and respect-for-all, we’re really working to ensure that more people have the opportunity to feel good about who they are. That effort, that goal, is the fundamental “project” in our name — to create greater self-worth among our fellow humans. Or as many of us as we can reach, anyway.

Yes, equality for each, respect for all. Yes indeed, greater respect for the goodness and inherent value of humanity. These are just lovely ways of saying that the Humanity Project wants each person to appreciate their own worth, which in turn allows them to appreciate the worth of other people. We hope to inspire a recognition of our individual humanity … and thereby, the humanity of everyone else. That’s the Humanity Project.