#respect

Why Does it Happen? How Can it Stop?

by Bob Knotts, Founder & President

Yesterday one of the worst mass school shootings in U.S. history happened in the school district where the Humanity Project works, day in and day out. Here in Broward County, Florida, at least 17 people were killed by a disturbed young man. I know this school -- only two years ago, I was there as part of a panel for parents about teen suicide. So today, as we look for answers to school violence, I must offer these personal thoughts.

Look around carefully and reflect on what is in front of our eyes. School shootings can’t be stopped with any quick fix. Liberals want strict gun control. Yes, it’s needed. Yes, it will prevent some deaths by guns. Conservatives call for mental health measures – and yes, better treatments are much needed. But for me, the real problems are embedded in a culture that has long celebrated anti-intellectualism and violence as a solution. Consider the recipe:

We begin with a broth of ignorance as virtue. Our culture, unlike most other modern societies, has long celebrated the John Wayne attitude toward problems: “Hit first, shoot first … ask questions later. But not very deep questions. Afterall, he had it coming.” Many Americans regard intelligent thought suspiciously, nuance as confusing, facts as fluid. Don’t muddy the waters with information that withstands critical thinking. Just do it. Punch the bully back in the face. Shoot the home intruder dead. Elect an unqualified person because he acts tough; he’ll fix things. This is America – and ignorance is our birthright. Step one in the recipe to cultural violence. 

Stir in an oversized portion of isolation. Social media doesn’t bring us together. It isolates us. We live with the illusion that Facebook brings connection and Twitter transmits knowledge. They do the opposite. So people resort to treating their dogs like children and their cats like spouses. We are alone and lonely. For the youthful screen-obsessed generations, this has greatly diluted their ability to communicate with people intelligently, if at all. Their noses are buried in trivia backlit by an Apple cellphone. This isolation has changed the culture, much for the worse. For too many reasons to offer here. But for troubled minds, the isolation from humanity and the access to warped points of view and anonymous self-expressions of hate can push some toward violence. 

Season with celebrations of ultra-violence. America always has celebrated violence. But not in the way we do today. Kids spend hours daily glued to video games that show shockingly real depictions of explosions, gun deaths and worse. These are portrayed to young minds as cool. Just as bad, so many of our major stars portray action heroes who live and die by the John Wayne mentality: “Shoot first. Don’t think. Violence always is the solution.” How can we convince children that bullying isn’t cool and that respect is cool … when all they admire shows the opposite? Being big and bad and tough, that’s cool according to Hollywood. Every time any one of us buys a ticket to see the latest shoot-em-up by The Rock or Tom Cruise or Charlize Theron we contribute to the problem. Action films make big bucks: therefore action films get made and promoted. To a troubled kid, real violence looks like glory. 

Sprinkle with sloppiness, laziness and ineptitude. American society encourages parenting that is about shallow achievements rather than healthy growth. Parents take their kids to every known form of lesson, training and camp – and spend time working on a child’s soccer technique instead of helping them understand what it is to be a human being. Kids need time, space. They need to play and pretend. What child do you know who gets these things in proper proportion? Parents in this country are horrendous at parenting. Schools aren’t much better, though many try. They’re driven by pointless testing rather than real knowledge, by rote learning rather than deep curiosity. No time for anti-bullying programs, no support for training in meditation or projects that teach respect for all people. Because, hey, our school needs to earn a better grade during state testing. Adult attitudes and adult behavior toward kids contribute to violence by those kids who suffer deeper problems. 

Finally, mix vigorously with lack of compassion. This is related to our ignorance as virtue, but actually cuts even deeper. Americans are not taught compassion or empathy. We’re taught to be wary of these virtues, replacing them with the judgmental and hard-hearted. As a result, we can’t understand why a kid would take a rifle and kill 17 innocent people. The answer is because that kid isn’t you. Or me. He grew up with very different parents and siblings and experiences. He learned very different values and beliefs. Even his genes are different. Yes, of course you can watch The Rock for 2 hours at the multiplex without being inspired to violence. Because you’re you, with all your relatively stable life experiences. To the troubled kid, the movie means something different. Americans, many people in general, suffer from the delusion that the way a fairly normal person feels about something is the way everyone feels. It isn’t. And for some, the movie and the video game and the culture of violence, the isolation and shallowness slice to their core – and then one day it all explodes suddenly to everyone’s great surprise. 

In the end, we need to learn to be human. Humanity is a species of soaring qualities, mostly untapped. Until we accept this idea and work toward the fulfillment of our humanity, the past is mere prologue … and the next shooting is only just around the block.

"Humanity Project Goes Hollywood!"

Looking For Our Closeup

The Humanity Project has gone Hollywood ... Well, let's say "Hollywood," as in kinda sorta. The truth is we created a new video that's just like a polished Hollywood-style trailer you'd see at the movies. In a clever way, it advertises the Humanity Project's work and our three core values that are part of every program we offer: respect, diversity, self-worth. Click on the linked pic just below to check it out. 

We've also posted another cool video on our YouTube channel, which you can find here: 

More and more folks are getting lots of their information and entertainment from videos. The trend seems to be accelerating. So the Humanity Project is embracing this new reality by stepping up our game. As you can see on our YouTube channel, or the Videos page here on our website, we've always gone big for videos. They can communicate with new audiences in new ways. But now -- oh definitely, you can expect to find more videos by us in the coming months, smart and engaging pieces that take our positive message to even higher heights. 

The Moral High Ground

Amid the violence and the hostile rhetoric, amid the disrespect and distortion of facts, the Humanity Project remains committed to our three core values: respect for all as well as the importance of diversity and self-worth. We teach these values to kids through our acclaimed programs, we work hard to practice them in daily life. But we see these values under attack. The United States is going through a highly challenging period just now. We have no doubt that in the end sane voices will be heard above the harsh din. We all will be okay. 

What seems more uncertain, though, is how long this attack will persist and how much suffering it will cause before greater respect prevails. As a nonpolitical and nonreligious organization by law, the Humanity Project is not preaching politics here. What we are doing is calling for everyone who shares our values to unite in a peaceful and yes respectful movement. Indeed, we have long felt that a movement of this type is needed worldwide -- a large group of people joined in a common call for respect as a foundation for meaningful dialogue, a solid base for improving our civilization. Fine groups and small movements of all kinds exist already, of course: They ask us to work together for compassion, for peace, for a better environment, for fair wages, for gender equality, for the right to love and marry whoever we choose. But surely underlying all those significant goals is a more basic prerequisite: respect. Respect for self, respect for all others. Without this, it's hard to make progress in other areas. 

With that in mind, then, we offer one more suggestion to those who might be sympathetic to a broad movement for respect. If these attacks on respect and decency continue for long in the U.S., we must consider a new approach in response. Nonviolence. No group that hopes to sway opinion within a modern society can hold the moral high ground by answering violence with rage or with more violence. No matter how understandable and justified such a response may feel. Gandhi, King and other great moral leaders -- they understood that nonviolence changes minds far more effectively than street battles ever can. We must as a nation, and as a world, find new ways to hold within us a fundamental respect for every human being. Even for those who want to harm us. That's not submission, not giving in. As history proves, it is the highest, most courageous and most persuasive form of resistance. 

Our Fund: Making A Difference

By Bob Knotts, Humanity Project Founder

I wanted to offer a more personal blog to our readers today. It's about bullying, about disrespect as a social issue ... and about an important partner that helps the Humanity Project to diminish these problems. 

Our Fund is an LGBT community foundation based in Wilton Manors, Florida, one of the nation's premier LGBT-friendly cities. This extraordinary organization has just partnered with the Humanity Project for a second consecutive year in our continuing efforts to stem school bullying and to encourage greater respect among both students and adults, whether in school or out in the world. Toward that end, Our Fund has awarded the Humanity Project $10,000 for 2017, part of $106,000 handed out to many fine nonprofits at a special presentation this week. We can't thank Our Fund enough for this assistance. 

At the Our Fund 2017 Spring check presentation, New River Fine Art Gallery

At the Our Fund 2017 Spring check presentation, New River Fine Art Gallery

Because we take this sponsorship money, and this cause, very seriously. At a time when bullying is on the rise again, in a period of history when disrespect is rampant in our society and right-wing ideas are regaining traction among a broad swath of people around the world, effective and innovative anti-bullying programs are more necessary than ever. Bullying, disrespectful behavior of all kinds -- they leave scars on children's psyches that never go away. The LGBT community is disproportionately affected by this problem. So Humanity Project programs do more than simply fight bullying. They also teach respect for all, the importance of diversity and the value of self-worth to young students, helping them to appreciate the humanity of every person.

And this is where a more personal story comes in. As a child, I was bullied in ways that I feel to this day. I was harassed, hit, humiliated ... and harmed emotionally. I felt alone. I felt something was wrong with me. I liked the other kids, so why didn't they all like me? I couldn't understand and, not understanding, I blamed myself. Remember, this was long before cyberbullying, decades before weapons in school became sadly common. It is much worse today. As a result of my childhood trauma, I carry personal experience with the pain of bullying and disrespect by my peers. These memories help to motivate me to fight ever harder, with even more innovative and effective methods, as the Humanity Project works with Our Fund to help build a more respectful society. I know the entire Humanity Project Board of Directors, Leadership Council and our volunteers feel the same way. We are committed to doing all we can to make sure every child feels he or she is valuable. In that work, we couldn't ask for a better partner than our remarkable friends at Our Fund.