Finding the “Us’ in Everday Life

I am sitting in sweaty gym clothes as I write this, just back from the gym. I know, I know. Not the prettiest image, for which I’m sorry. But I want to explain just how fresh the idea for this blog is. I thought of it 15 minutes ago at Gold’s Gym in Hollywood, Florida. I was working out on a stationary bike when I said to myself, “Ok, how would I apply The Humanity Project philosophy to this situation? Right now?” That philosophy essentially says that we live more meaningful lives as individuals by focusing our attention on contributing not to “me” or even to “them” … but to “us.” So the question was, “How could I contribute to us – both myself and others at the same time – while just working out at the gym?” Here’s what I came up with:

• I could smile. That really does make me feel better but it also improves the general attitude in the gym for others. It helps “us.”
  
• I could exercise harder. By being in better shape, I make myself stronger and healthier, which of course is good for “me.” But how can I view this as also truly being good for “us”? These were my some of my thoughts about that question:
  
  1) If I’m in shape, I’m better able to help others, including friends, in everyday life. I remember the time before I overcame my back problems. I had to have my then-spouse lift suitcases out of the car when we traveled. I couldn’t pick up things to assist friends when they moved or needed help shifting furniture around their houses. Or whatever. This is the kind of thing many of us are called on to do often, even if it just means hoisting a couple gallons of milk for an elderly lady at the grocery store or helping to clean our own home.

2) I’m stronger in case someone really needs my assistance in an emergency. This isn’t everyday stuff – but it’s not far-fetched either. Where I live in South Florida, bystanders routinely are called on to aid drivers whose cars have veered into one of our many canals. Any of us may be involved in, or be near, an auto crash or a fire or some other event where strength and confidence in our physical abilities is needed. Ask the people who survived 9/11 about that. God forbid any of this actually happens to us, of course. But it literally is true that we may be needed and that we’re a stronger, better prepared citizen if we are in good shape.

3) Exercise improves my attitude, self-confidence and health. This has many ripple effects for the good: It makes me a more balanced human being emotionally. It helps me cope with difficult people and situations more effectively. It frees more of my best at work, in social situations and everywhere else. I am less likely to suffer some physical ailment. Etc., etc. And all of those things benefit others in lots of direct and indirect ways.

• But working out with “us” in mind has a deeper, more far-reaching benefit too. It can help me to feel connected to my fellow human beings, lifting me out of a life lived in isolation, only for “me.” Try it yourself and you’ll see what I mean. By thinking and acting for “us,” rather than “me” or even “them,” I add a much greater purpose to everything I do, even something as ordinary as going to the gym. And that purpose gives my life a richer meaning.

I hope you’re starting to get the idea. Focusing my actions and thoughts on “us” offers me a very good reason to get out of bed every day – to live my life in ways that benefit both me and others at the same time. I stay motivated because it benefits me. I stay connected to others and find meaning in my life because it benefits my fellow human beings too, which becomes an additional powerful motivation for me. In turn, all of this improves society by improving the individuals in it, starting with me. Right now, at the gym. That shift in perspective is among the key goals of The Humanity Project’s program: finding a sense of connection and involvement with every other human being by living for “us.” We believe our unique program can teach anyone how to make and maintain that mental shift, adding purpose and meaning to our everyday lives. Even if we’re just sweating on a stationary bike at Gold’s Gym.