Getting Physical

We’re going to give you some food for thought this week. Well, ok, we try to give you food for thought every week, but here’s something small and easy to digest – a mental appetizer, if you will. Because in our two most recent podcasts, “Getting a Handle on Your Health,” we’ve been talking a lot about some scientific research and direct personal experiences related to health issues. Our information all adds up to the idea that we each have the ability to be much healthier, without doctors, pills or therapy. (I hope you’ll listen to those programs, available here by clicking on The Humanity Podcast.)

But all right, I promised you an appetizer-sized morsel for your head in this week’s blog. Here it is: Have you ever considered how easy it is to escape responsibilities in life if we are physically sick? And has it ever occurred to you that this is often a reason people allow themselves to get sick? Chances are, you do this too at times – without even recognizing it.

Think about this a moment. It may sound strange at first. But if you’re feeling pressed for time, stressed out, overburdened, tired, whatever … no one cares, do they? “Boss, listen, my kid broke his arm last night and I have to take him to the doctor again today and then I have to pick up the dry cleaning and run my mother to the dentist and …” And what will the boss say? Probably something very understanding like, “We need you here today.” It may not only be the boss whose expectations are hard to deal with. Maybe you had planned on cooking an elaborate dinner for some close friends but now feel too frazzled to enjoy it. And maybe you’re also supposed to go to some park or somewhere this weekend for a family outing. In many of our lives, the to-do list can easily run on and on.

But if the boss doesn’t care that you’re stressed and tired, neither will your kids and maybe not your friends either. On the other hand, even the boss will show sympathy if you’re sick. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well,” the boss might say, “you head on home early today.” Our culture does not acknowledge psychological, emotional needs in people’s lives. But physical illness is generally accepted, and regarded as something that happens to people without any responsibility on their part. They are victims.

When we feel intense, prolonged emotional distress, some people turn this into physical illness. These folks actually “want” the illness, at some irrational level – they see it as a cure for their situation. I’m writing about this because I know from personal experience that it’s essential to constantly remind yourself why you don’t want to be sick. There are always more constructive ways to deal with any situation, if you give some clear thought to the problem (even if you find you have to very deliberately concoct some small fib for the boss … ). Just don’t let yourself lose control of the situation by sliding toward physical illness. That really doesn’t work anyway, does it? Maybe you got out of that elaborate dinner, but there were smarter ways to do that – and now that you’re sick, you may be stuck carrying on with daily duties despite feeling terrible for many days or weeks. Hey, even the boss’s sympathy extends only a short distance. And worse, you make yourself increasingly into someone who relies on physical illness to deal with emotional situations. That’s a slippery slope.

Stay well – and know how and why you can make yourself sick, and that you even actually may sometimes want to be sick. That knowledge gives you more control and makes you a healthier, more responsible member of society. That’s our goal here at The Humanity Project: building a better world, one person at a time. To do that, we each have to do our part. Every day. – RSK